Misery defined: “a state or feeling of great stress or discomfort of mind or body; a cause or source of great distress or discomfort.”  (dictionary.com)   At some time in everyone’s life, misery arises and imposes a crippling experience.  Usually, misery emanates from a myriad of self-imposed fears.  And when we encounter misery, we know that: 

— “Misery loves company”  (John Ray, English naturalist (1627–1705.)  

But does it have to be that way?  Miserable people adopt a “woe is me” attitude, and need to discuss it with someone; i.e., company, most likely a confident or loved one.  Consider three more quotes:

—  “Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.”  Addison Mizner, American architect (1872—1933)

—  “If misery loves company, misery has company enough.”  Henry David Thoreau, American philosopher (1817— 1862  )

—  “Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays it insists on it.”  Russel Baker, American newspaperman and Pulitzer Prize author (b1925)  

How does one rid ourselves from misery, in ourselves and others? A psychologist opines that a person can avoid misery through a technique called simply, “avoidance.”  For example, if you are out of shape, avoid exercise so you will not be reminded of your poor physical condition; if you have a personal conflict, avoid that person and the conflict will vanish; if you feel anxious about attending parties populated with unknown people, stay home and you will avoid the anxiety it brings. (How to Stop the Number One Cause of Most Human Misery by Jim Fazio with Ronald Siegal, PsyD, www.jimfazio.com)  

Though the avoidance scheme may work temporarily to avoid misery, it certainly is not the best long term approach.  Perhaps, confronting the misery source toward overcoming or eliminating the problem may be a better objective.  If possible, instead of problem avoidance try self-preoccupation avoidance — thinking outwardly instead of inwardly.  Just take a few deep breaths, and give it a whirl.  In short, do the thing you fear, as prescribed by Emerson. 

—“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher  (1803—1882)      

Though easier said than done, if misery can avoid “avoidance,” misery will no longer need to love company.