Following my previous post, an aphorism collection of Mae West, I now turn to another famous American icon: Yogi Berra, known for his clever malaprop sayings, some of which he actually said. Most everyone can quote a favorite Yogi-ism; some of my favorites appear below:

He starred in a LITE beer commercial, which scored high on the ratings chart. Yogi, held up a can of LITE beer and said: “Everybody I know drinks LITE beer. And if they don’t — I don’t know them.” I wonder how many barrels of beer sold as a result of that quip.

Some keen observations:
— “You can observe a lot by just watching;”
— “It’s like deja vu all over again;”
— “It ain’t over until its over;”
— “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
— “Baseball is ninety percent mental, and the other half is physical.”

Some cogent advice:
— “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
— “Always go to people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t go to yours.”
— “Nobody goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.”
— “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
— “If you don’t know where you are going, you may wind up someplace else.”

Some startling conclusions:
— “A nickel isn’t worth a dime anymore.”
— “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
— “Slump? I ain’t in no slump . . . I just ain’t hitting.”
— “You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.”
— “It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.”

Two perfectly clear instructions:
— “Pair up in threes.”
— “Cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

And when asked about his many aphorisms, Yogi responded truthfully:
— “I never said most of the things I said.”