As a young boy, I developed a curious interest in four letter words. I knew the meaning of many, but not for those considered most vulgar. Educational pursuit drove my quest for knowledge, rather than any basic prurient interest. Nevertheless, I guarded my ignorance with caution, lest my school chums tease me as a mere tyro on the facts of life. I conducted secretive research in our home library, consisting of an old edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and an even older edition of a Webster’s Dictionary. Not surprisingly, none of the forbidden four letter words made the edit. Over time, with sly discrete inquiries and through idiomatic context, I became aware of their meaning.

Thereafter, I still carried a fascination with four letter words, and collected them, as a kid would collect baseball cards. Occasionally, I would flip one to win a point. Whenever I located a good four letter word that sounded like a bad one, I reveled in the discovery and added it to my collection. For example, the ubiquitous word FART is a four letter word that every kindergartner knows, evoking childish laughter upon a mere utterance. Can you think of any other sound alike words, not homonymous but close enough? Consider two:

FARD and PHOT! Both sound alike, and easily could be mistaken for an over-exuberant rush of foul air, teasing the ear and nose; while in truth, their respective meanings approach astuteness and, and in one case, enlightenment. In fairness, I will use both words in a sentence, so the reader may determine their meaning from context. (1) Did you FARD today? (2) If you remain uncertain, let me add a little PHOT to the question.  Alas, if neither context helped, Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary provides their meaning:

FARD, may be used as a noun or a verb, meaning: to paint the face with cosmetics; to gloss over, as a verb; and the paint used on the face, as a noun.

PHOT may be used only as a noun. No action here! Despite sounding like a Bostonian utterance, A PHOT is a ray of light; defined as: a unit of illumination equal to one lumen per square centimeter.

Accordingly, an actor may FARD in a PHOT without awakening the aural and olfactory senses.